Adult Children Raised by Narcissists

One would think that learned behavior is what sticks with a child on into adulthood, yet that is not always the case. Yes, there are plenty of children of narcissists who grow up to be narcissistic too, however quite the opposite can happen. Several therapists have diagnosed me with hyper empathy syndrome. It's a reaction to my childhood and how I was raised.

NARCISSISTIC PARENTS AFFECTS ON THEIR CHILDREN

Children raised by narcissistic parents often have under developed social skills due to the fact that the parent takes care of everything for that child from a young age on up to adulthood. This is because the child does not do exactly as the parent would. The parent's idea of perfection is not met by their child. This affects the child's ability to make lasting friendships and to have meaningful relationships, and contributes to feelings of low self worth due to not meeting up to the parent's expectations.

Due to being negelcted a child learns coping skills of looking out for #1, themself. Their independence often leads them be more successful in life than the previously mentioned under developed social skills. They grow up quickly and take on adult roles of working hard to earn money, and striving for perfection.

Highly intuitive. Intuition is strengthened by learning how to quickly read the room to figure out what is going on with their parent. Because the child learns to use their intuition at a young age, that child's empathy center is used more often. This causes children and adults to have what's known as hyper empathy syndrome.

Low self esteem affects children and adults on many levels. Low self esteem can cause severe depression due to feelings of inadequacy because of never feeling good enough. That feeling of never measuring up takes it's toll on a child. Constant criticism makes the child either stop attempting to become better altogether or causes hypervigilance. Low self esteem feeds into eating disorders like anorexia nervosa, bullimia, and binge eating. Low self esteem due to constant criticisms or comparisons causes that child to grow up into adulthood battling BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). The leading cause of eating disorders and why so many seek out plastic surgery.

Inability to think for themselves. Because the narcissistic parent expects their child to look up to them for opinions the child's personal opinions are denied. The parents don't allow the child to form their own opinions and to think for themselves.

The Affects Narcissistic Parents Cause:

The child is scared to be real, the child is taught that image is more important than being authentic.

The child doesn't feel seen or heard because the child is taught to disappear when others are around.

The child can't learn to identify or trust their own feelings and grows up with crippling feelings of self-doubt.

The child feels criticized and judged instead of loved and accepted.

The child suffers with anxiety and depression, and is often diagnosed with cPTSD later on in adulthood.

Because the child was demeaned, shamed, and humiliated the child grows up to have poor self esteem and low self confidence.

Narcissism is considered to be a spectrum disorder. There are low level traits and there is a range on up to high level traits that are considered a full blown personality disorder known as NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). The higher of level of traits in a parent has causes more damage to children.

If you suspect that you or a loved one was raised by a narcissist or narcissists there is help available. Seek out a professional licensed therapist that specializes in trauma & narcissistic abuse that utilizes CBT. Remember that trauma is like an onion, you need to deal with it layer by layer. Cry a little or a lot, and to be patient with yourself.